Pulling up the weeds

There's just something so deeply rewarding and richly symbolic about pulling up weeds. As I was working in my garden this afternoon, the thought occurred to me that the work I was doing with my hands had more real-life applications than I'd ever before dared notice. Amazing how getting lost in a physical action so rote, routine, and familiar can take your mind to somewhere completely new that draws you to such profound conclusions. There's an art to slowly pulling up those little plants that grow against all odds, disrupting the perfectness of a well-organized garden variety. The gentle tug and lift of some; the necessary act of digging and roughly pulling with others. So, too, exist the tugs and pulls of life.

Musings on Weeds

If you don't get rid of problems fully and opportunistically, they'll come back over and over until you're forced to deal with them head-on. Removal of weeds from a garden bed requires care and attention. You want to get rid of the whole plant. If you pull too hard, you'll have a handful of greenery, and you may not even see a visible weed remaining in the ground. But, carelessly leave the roots behind, and you'll inadvertently re-establish the cycle of pesky growth--just like problems and problem-people (like those toxic, negative people that you eventually have to truly unfriend) in your life.

When you spend time trudging through the weeds, you notice things you never would have noticed otherwise. Life's not all sunshine and rainbows. There are bad times. There are things you won't want to do or surround yourself with. But when you accept it and rest there...just be there in those less-than-ideal places, you'll still find beauty. Like the dozens of itty bitty buds on my vegetable vines that will be zucchini and squash in the coming weeks. Like the pinky-gray-brown earthworms that live under the earth, silently nurturing my plants' roots. Like the teeny tiny purpley-green clover that so delicately hide among the leaves of other plants. A bird's feather resting gently against a stem. A stone so perfectly round and smooth. Had I spent 2 hours even sitting still in nature on my bum, I wouldn't have noticed these things. It took getting on hands and knees, fingers covered in dirt, spade and cultivator in hand, to have my eyes opened to these little wonders. Beyond the sweat and labor was beauty in its purest form.

Sometimes things that appear to be a certain way are, in reality, something vastly deeper and more complex. Let's take dandelions as an example. They look harmless enough on the surface. They're known to be edible, even, and appear on 5-star menus in dandelion green salads across the country. Zig-zaggy-edged leaves, yellow flowers, and the fun gray puffs that you blow to pollenate the dandelion weed that much further. But have you ever tried manually removing them from your garden? Those plants are a beast! No kidding, I've pulled out roots 1 foot long from my garden. There's more than meets the eye with those suckers! And it's the same in life. Things are rarely merely what they seem to be. Never evaluate something only at face value--you'll be deceived.

Value is subjective. Do I assign value and worth to the weeds in my garden? Nope. The vegetables I've planted, though, are a vision of organic nirvana in my mind. Fresh squash, tomatoes, green beans, and more that I've cultivated from seed to mature plant, that I've watched and inspected after each summer storm and sunny day, that I will pluck straight from the vine and eat in their still-warm form ripened just so from the sun's rays? Bliss. Meanwhile, bees happily dine on the blossoms of the dandelion and clover plants. Birds snatch up any old leaf or twig for a nest accoutrement. Rabbits, who love carrots and other vegetables, will just as easily munch on a fresh patch of regular green grass. Why do we waste so much time stating who or what is so much more important that this or that? We humans are all just trying to get by. There are no weeds, no less-thans. God's grace makes us all equal. The only real value is our value in him, not some false valuing system that exists in our minds and in our culture. Human is human.

Doing the rough stuff gets easier. This was my 4th time doing an in-depth de-weeding of my garden this summer. The first time, there were so many weeds that I didn't dare spend the necessary amount of time to get them all. Had I done so, I could have filled a whole trash bag. I filled 3 Kroger bags to the brim and called it a day. The next time, I filled 2 bags. The 3rd time, 1. Today, half of a bag. I find that this is true with any rough thing in life that I choose to tackle head-on. Budgeting, assessing my debt ratio, having a hard conversation with someone, deep cleaning my house, sticking up for myself, whatever. The more I give it a valiant effort and keep at it on a regular basis, the easier it becomes.

You don't know something/someone's limits until you've seen them weather a storm. This summer has been so rainy. I actually haven't been complaining because the days have been so mild, and my power bill has been so low. There's also almost nothing more refreshing than summer rain--(I do love the dog days, though, and wish it would heat up at least a little)--but it's been torturous to some of my vegetable plants. Peas? What few weren't consumed by chipmunks and made it to the seedling phase were uprooted and overturn in the muddy soil after a single summer storm. Tomatoes? One plant snapped clear in half (though I did manage to tie it to the stake in a way that made the stem graft back onto itself, and it's still alive and even has a handful of blooms). Watermelon? The shrimpy growth would make you think I planted them a week ago, instead of a month ago. Eggplant? Very few even sprouted, the soil was so wet. Herbs? Surviving, not thriving. (You catch my drift.) My dandelions and other weeds whose names I haven't even bothered to learn? Sturdy and sprightly as I don't even know what. There are no words to describe how well they've flourished in the near-flooded conditions of this summer. Certain things and people crumble under pressure; others thrive. You often don't know which it'll be until the water gets hot. Why label people? Let them be. Let their reactions to their circumstances show you who they are. It might just save you from eating your foot!

I love that I've found an activity that helps me think with such clarity. I actually can't wait until it's time to weed my garden again! (See? Rough stuff = easier.) I think I'll use that time to also pull up the weeds in my head and clear my mind.

More later,
-Kels

Guarding my daughter's heart

Want to meet a real momma bear? Talk to me! You will never find a fiercer child advocate. I love my daughter beyond comprehension (as do many parents with their children), and I will do absolutely anything to keep her safe and secure. Especially in the wake of the chaos and back-and-forth that she's forced to endure as the product of a split family.

What kinds of things do I do to protect her? Let's walk through a few!

1. Tell her that I love her no matter what. I recently read a great book called The 5 Love Languages of Children, and I highly recommend it for every parent. It stresses that each child has different ways that they feel loved, and it's up to us parents to recognize those needs and consider how our actions will make our children feel. Some children have many love languages; some have 1 or 2 that really speak to them. Kimmy has some of them all, at least right now.

The main theme of the book, though, is this: your child needs to know, hands down, unequivocally, fully, always, that you love her...no matter what. It's not tied to actions, behaviors, physical things, money, mood, stress, or any source of outside influence. Kimmy loves to talk--not just to talk, but to engage in back-and-forth conversation with question after question fueled by her curious little mind and often even if she already knows the answers. That lets me know that one of her love languages right now is words of affirmation. I tell her frequently that I love her. Even if she's mad or I'm mad or something's not going right. I let that little sentence--"I love you, Kimmy."--stand all by itself.

2. Give her structure and a solid routine. I can't control what goes on outside our house, but I can control our home. Toddlers are emotional little beings, full of fluctuating levels of feeling understood, appreciated, and confident. I happen to be blessed with an incredibly articulate little girl who is low on the mood swing and tantrum spectrum. (In lamen's terms, she's an old soul and has this amazing aura of emotional maturity that very few toddlers have. So cool to witness!)

However, as a child of custody and visitation and being passed back and forth and having her comfort disrupted, she is susceptible to deep unsettling feelings on the inside. I see it when she bursts into crocodile tears once in a blue moon when I come home for lunch and have to leave to go back to work. I see it when she stalls at bedtime and bolts up to ask in a slight panic, "Am I staying at Kimmy's house tomorrow?", "What am I doing tomorrow, Mommy?", or "What time/day is it? Do you have to work tomorrow, Momma?" At our house, she is safe and secure. We have rules and bedtimes and regular meals. We have playtime and talking time; reading time and praying time. Kimmy and Mommy's house is safe and sound.

3. Give her thoughtful surprises! This is my favorite thing to do as a mom. Every time Kimmy comes back home from being at her dad's, I make sure to do a little something to welcome her home and let her know how happy I am to see her again. It's not about gifts or spending money; it's about being present in my daughter's life--showing her that her heart, time, thoughts, ideas, and actions are safe with Mommy. I don't want her to ever be spoiled or to expect things, so I mix it up a lot and make sure that I'm giving her a wide array of little surprises and activities. The point is to make her feel loved and to welcome her back into quality time with me with open arms.

Here's a list of some of the things I've done so far:

• Pick up a fresh stack of books from the library
• Grab a donut with chocolate and sprinkles (Kimmy's favorite kind)
• Get a decaf Frappuccino and pour some in a kid cup, then scoop all the whipped cream on top just for my little lady
• Clean her room and lay out a favorite pair of PJs to wear at bedtime
• Write her a card and let her open it when she gets home
• Bake cookies or muffins and have them ready for her
• Go straight to the playground when we get home
• Set up a coloring station on the dining room table to spend time talking and coloring
• Visit the grocery store, let Kimmy push the cart (seriously, Kroger and Sam's Club are her 2 favorite places on earth right now), let her carry in a bag when we get home, and let her put the items in the bag away. (Okay, I'm aware this one sounds lame, but she loves doing this. I can tell it makes her feel so important, and she knows she will have yummy things to eat at her house when we arrive!)
• Put out all the ingredients for dinner and let her help me cook a meal (even if it takes 4 times as long and my hair turns gray in the time it takes for dinner to cook)
• Tell her a surprise (like plans I've made to do a future fun thing...in this case, Disney) and spend time looking at pictures and videos of said fun place online
• Give her my phone to play with for a little while when we get home. Those eyes light up, and she always feels so special that she gets to use something of mine!

I imagine this could get hairy if I ever surprised her with something drastic like re-arranging the living room or getting rid of half her toys. That would kind of defeat the purpose of welcoming her back to a safe place. For a more drastic surprise, I would probably have to create a longer period of easing her into it...or just un-surprise it and let her help me with whatever the drastic thing is. More on this later, I guess. For now, those happy smiles and excited words at all the little surprises are all my heart needs to know I'm doing something right.

-Kels

Single momma crash course: how to do Disney for 2 for $1,500

It's no surprise that my 20-something self is broke as a joke more often than not. I'm still in that awkward financial phase where I'm finding my footing and paying off debt like crazy to be free from the stress.

I've also got a severe case of wanderlust. More so than any other person I know, I'd venture to say. Couple that with the forced routinization of raising a toddler, and I'm absolutely desperate to travel and explore at all times with little need for justification or external motivation.

So, imagine my surprise when I received an email from Frontier Airlines nearly a month ago advertising $29 flights to/from many major US destinations. YES, PLEASE!

I tried to talk myself out of it. I tried to refrain from digging deeper and doing that research. I just couldn't stop myself, though. Nope. Couldn't do it.

I booked that IND --> ATL flight for my daughter and me for $166 (taxes and fees included), and I haven't looked back since. One heavenly week in August on the books, and we're Georgia/Florida bound. Let the vacation planning commence!

Mmk. So I've been dying to go to Disney World since I had my precious daughter. As she grew, so did her love for Disney movies and Disney characters and all things Disney. And, I mean, I haven't been to Disney in 10 years now, so I thought, "Why not?" But, wait. Atlanta is not Orlando, right? Right. After running through all my options and trying to optimize on having the ultimate flexibility on this trip, I opted for getting a rental car to travel from ATL to Orlando. I actually discovered that it was cheaper to rent a car for the entire week than to rent it 2 separate times to travel from the Atlanta airport at the beginning of our trip and again to Atlanta at the end. This immediately opened up a world of possibilities for maximizing our fun!

Let's talk budget. I'm determined to do this trip and clock in around $1,500. I may sound crazy, but I think it can be done.

One little tidbit before I delve into numbers: I'm working on repairing my credit--an ongoing goal. I'm doing well, so I keep getting these pre-approved credit card offers in the mail. I did a lot of research, especially where creditkarma.com consumer reviews are concerned, and I decided to sign up for a credit card that offers a pretty generous 9-month introductory 0% APR period. This will allow me to "pay" for and plan most of my trip in advance and pay it off on a rigorous schedule after we return to still come in under the cut-off for the no-interest period. I'll be drastically improving my credit by making these monthly payments on time, I'm going to be careful and closely monitor my balance, and I'm going to have the peace of mind needed to enjoy my daughter's birthday at Disney and not blow the bank. This was a really good decision for me! I feel confident with this little cusion under me.

1. Airfare was step 1. Easy peasy.

Total cost (including tax, fees, and baggage): $166

2. Like I said, we'll be traveling for my daughter's 3rd birthday. ("But she might not remember your trip! Don't do it! She's much too young!" Don't care. Your advice is not solicited or welcome. She will have an amazing time while we're there, and so will I. Also, we will have amazing pictures to look back on, and we'll cherish them always. Oh, and did I mention we're saving about $300 by taking advantage of doing Disney at her current age?) Our first Disney day is August 6, and Kimmy turns 3 on August 7. It's no secret that for Disney World guests under the age of 3, their visit is on Mickey Mouse. Fuh-ree! I talked to a Cast Member through Disney's online chat and confirmed in writing that since she'll be starting her visit at age 2, she's going to be free for her whole trip. Boom! Park-hopping would be overwhelming with a toddler, so not having to spring for that option on my ticket offers even more savings. I purchased my 5-day Disney base ticket from Undercover Tourist and saved about $13 off the Walt Disney World website's cost. They're an authorized vendor, so I'm good to go without worrying that my ticket is a gimmick. In fact, I've already successfully linked it to My Disney Experience account!

Total cost (including tax and fees): $321.95
Running total: $487.95

3. I booked our rental car not long after purchasing my Disney ticket. I used ebates to get my cash back, and I went with the always-reliable, always-economical Enterprise. 7-day rental: check!

Total cost (including tax, fees, and a toddler car seat): $373.41
Running total: $861.36

4. With the flexibility of having a rental car in mind and the ability to drive beyond the realm of Orlando with ease, I reached out to an awesome friend in Tampa, who agreed to host us for 3 of our 6 nights of travel. (Side note: never cut ties with people who were once great people in your life, even many years ago. This summer camp friend and fellow arts lover has popped up with an amazing act of generosity at a really cool point in our adult lives, and I'm so excited to see her again! Bonus awesome thing: her name is also Kelsey. Very cool.) Next, I scoured the web for hotel deals for our remaining 3 nights and came across a golden nugget of information: Caribe Royale, a very fancy-looking Orlando conference hotel, has a deal where with proof of identity/birth date, any guest in your party with a birthday during your stay earns you a FREE night. That's 3 nights for the price of 2 for Kimmy and me. Plus, parking is free, the hotel will be sending a birthday cake up to our room on her birthday, and we'll get 20% off all food/beverage within the hotel during our stay. All I have to do is bring along a copy of her birth certificate. It's a really well-reviewed hotel, and unlike many Orlando hotels, they don't throw in a hidden nightly resort fee. I priced our our stay and compared to some other hotels I had been considering, and we're coming in about $100 under the total for what 3 nights at a Best Western in the same zip code would have been.

Total cost (including taxes and fees): $290.25
Running total: $1,151.61

That covers all our big expenses and leaves me with about $350 in flexible spending.

Here's a rundown of what I'm budgeting out for the rest of our trip expenses:
Additional trip necessities/grocery items (a leash/harness style backpack for my Kimmy, Magicbands, a cheapo umbrella stroller from an Orlando Walmart, and enough grocery items for cereal breakfasts and packed sandwich lunches in the parks): $80. 
Georgia visit to Lane's Orchard en route to Florida: Let's face it: I need some Georgia peaches in my life. Pronto. Roadtripping 6 hours from Atlanta, through the land of heavenly peaches, and down to Tampa/Orlando presents a perfect solution to this problem. A friend recommended an orchard/cafe/store (comparable to the Apple Barn in Pigeon Forge, TN) that's just off I-75 on our route to Florida, and we're going to stop to buy enough peaches for our whole week and have dinner there that night, as well. $50.
Disney character breakfast: I wanted one really special meal for Kimmy on her birthday, so I booked a character breakfast at Chef Mickey's. With tip, I'm estimating we'll dine for $40.
Dinners: I'm looking into a lot of "kids eat free" fast-casual restaurants (Sweet Tomatoes, Steak 'n' Shake, etc.), and I estimate $16/dinner spent on the two of us. 16 times 5 will put us at $80.
Souvenirs/in-park snacks: I'm doing my research and pre-selecting most of our souvenirs. That way I have good estimates of what I'll be buying for Kimmy and me, I'll know my price point if I need to swap anything, I'll know how much money I should aim to save, and I'll know how much flexible spending I have in the midst of my overall trip budget. Since it'll be Kimmy's birthday, I'm just going to route our souvenir budget to gifts for her, especially since I don't need anything (you've seen one souvenir; you've seen them all):

• Definitely doing the pack-your-own-box of Disney-speficic Mr. Potato Head parts for $20.
• Pick-a-pearl at Japan in Epcot: $15.
• A light-up thingamajigger at the Magic Kingdom fireworks show: $25.
• Minnie Mouse ears w/embroidery: $15.
• In-park snacks (let's just call this our Dole Whip and ice cream budget @ 1 to share per day): $24.

Total of all extra expenses: $349
Running total: $1,500!

Side note: I participate in online surveys for a little extra side cash. I'm planning on cashing in for enough Visa gift cards to totally cover our "additional trip necessities" category and any in-park ice creamy snacks we purchase.

Other side note: This trip will include all kinds of free activities, too, like collecting seashells at Clearwater Beach one evening when we go to meet up with some of my friends from college and playing with Legos in Downtown Disney. There are plenty of memories to be made without spending extra cash!

Final side note: Hopefully my wonderful parents will agree to cover the cost of our 3 tanks of gas needed for our fuel-efficient "Toyota Corolla or similar" for the roadtripping portion of our vacay. It is their only grandchild's only 3rd birthday celebration, after all. (Love you, Mom and Dad!)

And there you have it. How these 2 are gonna do Disney for $1,500.

What do you think, fellow Disney lovers? Am I right on the money, or am I totally clueless? What's your #1 tip for this single momma's first Dynamic Duo Does Disney vacation with her little lady?

More later.
-Kels

Guy friends

I miss having guy friends.

(Let me be clear: I am not talking about a boyfriend or any type of romantic companion/fling/relationship.)

I just miss having guys in my life who are my go-to people. I used to have the best guy friends!!!! Tons of them! We have since all grown apart. But for years and years, I had up to 10 at any given time that I could text or call or just go hang out with and be myself with. I'm not just talking quantity, either. These were all amazing friends, and I had awesome relationships with them all.

I've gradually turned into an old fart of a 20-something woman who stays at home most of the time with her kiddo or only goes out when errands are necessary. My friendship artillery is a whole hoard of women--nothing wrong with that, nothing bad...just vastly different from age, oh, 14 on. It's a huge adjustment for me.

Guy friendships are easy and natural. Secrets feel safer. Jokes come easier. There are no emotional over-reactions to deal with. Very little drama. More adventurousness and spontaneity and random/fun activities. A good amount of space and alone time and non-high-maintenance.

I suppose I'm just feeling rather hum-drum these days.

So, if any young whippersnapper guys are out there who want to be my sounding board and activities companions all spring/summer and beyond, apply now.

Also, I need some member of the male gender at some point to show me that not all of you are selfish scumbags.

K. So there's that.

-KP

Must be nice

Tonight I discovered that someone I have blocked on Instagram (and all social media) has been using my daughter's hashtag, #kimmyjarae.

Too bad hashtags are public. In my naivety, I was eagerly scrolling back through my Kimmy hashtag, expecting to see nothing other than my own tagged pictures of my baby girl and visualize how much she's grown over the past few months.

So, intent. Is this being done as a means of provocation? (Who knows, and my brain probably doesn't need to be there anyway.) As a means of trying to fit in? Most definitely. And that's just so sad!

It must be nice to occasionally play house with a well-behaved, loving toddler who isn't yours. Whose discipline and teaching you have had no part in. Whose care and financial provision you take no part in. Whose heart you've not protected from the womb days on. Whom you never nursed, never anxiously waited up with all night until the doctor's office opens at 8am so that you can her her in for a much-needed appointment, never been present with for a first anything. I'd imagine that would make you feel like the odd woman out right quick.

(Actually, I'm thankful that Cheaterman's partner in deception claims to love my daughter. If it's at all genuine, that's absolutely the best outcome for my sweet daughter in the swirl of all of this childish, flighty behavior.)

What's despicable and sad is that she's thrusting herself full force at a toddler who is in a very vulnerable stage of transition. She doesn't need gifts and forced selfies with a non-Mom figure who is showering her with confusing messages via PDA with her dad and who knows what menagerie of other nonsense!

Hashtag confusing. Hashtag givehertimetoadjust. Hashtag considerherperspective.

What's more, how can one live with herself when she is outwardly taking away from her partner's daughter's livelihood? He can't scrape together more than $500 per month for his daughter (which ONLY covers just over half of one month's childcare costs; let's not even talk food, medical insurance, housing, clothing, or personal care. It's mayyyybe 1/3 the actual cost of a child's monthly expenses, and that's if I'm being generous), yet he can afford dinners out and God knows what else with this person?

Hashtag IRRESPONSIBLE. Hashtag growup. Hashtag wakeup.

This is why I block people on social media. I do not want to be party to these people's dreamworld/alternate reality.

Going to sleep tonight seriously THANKING GOD from the bottom of my heart that I have a strong sense of reality, that my daughter's emotional health is priority numero uno at all times, that I have the selflessness and sheer common sense to put my baby first, and that I have an entire magazine of means to take care of my daughter and help her thrive.

That's why she calls me Mom.

Hashtag onlyone.

-Kels

Meal planning + food prep

I received a topic special request from a friend (Hi, Steph!), so this blog will be all about meal planning and food prep! Be warned: this will be long. I'm going to include a lot of info and some recipes, too.

I've always been sort of ruled by food, ever since I started putting on weight in puberty. I feel as though I could look at a carrot and gain 5 lbs. Even though I cheered and danced and swam and ran around all day every day all summer long and ate more vegetables than most of the people I knew, I was always a chunker from about 3rd grade on.

Over the past few months, I've been working to transition to a place where I rule the food around me, not the other way around. Instead of being controlled by my cravings and food wants, I make a conscious effort to think of food as nourishment and fuel for my body, plain and simple.

Yes, food may taste good. Yes, I am a true foodie, always looking for new flavors and ideas. But, I'm trying not to make it matter so much what I eat, just that I'm eating things that are whole, healthy, and as un-processed as my budget will allow. I'm not in the mood for the food I packed for my work lunch? Too bad. I'm saving money and being more health conscious by eating it. I'd rather run through the drive thru after work for a happy meal for Kimmy and a burger for me? Nope, I have a 20-minute meal waiting for me at home, and it's $2.50 per portion and chock full of veggies. See how I'm trying to train my thinking?

So, how am I making that switch?
1. I'm shopping based on what I need for specific meals, instead of shopping by what looks good and tickles my fancy at the store.
2. I'm planning a menu based on those meals. If I want to change things up, I can just switch the order of my meals, instead of going out for a quick fix and breaking my planning cycle.
3. I'm making a budget and sticking to it. Only extravagant budgets allow for over-indulgent food, after all.
4. I'm prepping my ingredients/dish components as much in advance as I can, so I can come straight home from work and cook, rather than giving in to ravenous food cravings and ruining my good planning.
5. I'm being less wasteful. If I have fresh produce in my fridge that has the potential to go bad, I don't need to be ordering take-out or procrastinating by eating non-perishables out of the pantry first. I've thrown away too much produce in the last few years, and I refuse to do it anymore.

Then what?
First thing's first: you need a good planning document. I print out these menu planner/shopping list combos every 2 weeks. I get paid every other Friday, so I either do my shopping on payday or the day after, and I get enough food for our household for 2 weeks. (I'm currently trying to spread our shopping out to 1 month intervals by shopping in bulk, but that's a work in progress, especially with my limited freezer space. I'll have to let you know how that goes.) Anyway, this document is cool because you can write down your meals in each box, guesstimate how many leftovers you'll have to allow that meal to stretch across a couple days, and write all your ingredients in the handy dandy categories below. This is a lifesaver (and timesaver) for me!

Once you've got your meals planned out and ingredients written down, you can take a look at your store's circular ad to see what can be swapped out to make your meals cheaper. If fish is cheaper than chicken, make a switch. If Brussels sprouts are on sale, but asparagus isn't, do a switch-a-roo. See where I'm going with this? Once you have some meal-planning practice under your belt, you'll be able to take a look at your grocery store ad first and do some quick calculations in your head to figure out which meals from your repertoire are feasible and which aren't.

My budget allows for $100 spent on groceries every 2 weeks. You might be sitting there thinking that's impossible, but I think you'll be shocked when you discover how much money you save by shopping by meal! I know I was. I usually come in under budget these days at ~$85-$90 every 2 weeks. This includes snacks like extra veggies, peanut butter, cheese, and crackers. Your initial few trips may cost more while you're stocking up on essentials, but I promise it can be done on a way smaller budget than you're used to long-term! And, obviously, if you have a bigger household than a 26-year-old and 2-and-a-half-year-old, you can adjust your budget accordingly.

"What do you usually buy at the store? What's your typical 2-week spread?" you ask.
Well, let me give you my current 2 weeks as an example! Some of the items I already bought, prepped, and/or froze, but I'll pretend I bought it all on Saturday for the purpose of this exercise.

Week 1
Breakfasts: refrigerator oatmeals (Monday-Friday), eggs and turkey bacon (Saturday), waffles (Sunday)
Lunches:  salad w/cheese and hardboiled egg (Monday-Friday), grilled cheese and veggies w/hummus (Saturday), chili (Sunday)
Dinners: moussaka (Monday/Wednesday), chicken thighs with rice and kale (Tuesday/Friday), spaghetti and meatballs (Thursday/Saturday), any remaining leftovers and salad (Sunday)

What I Bought
Dairy: butter, eggs (lunch salads, meatballs, breakfast), milk, parmesan cheese (meatballs), cheddar cheese (grilled cheeses), 1 qt. plain yogurt (oatmeal x 5)
Meat: 3 lbs ground beef (moussaka, chili, meatballs), bulk package chicken thighs, turkey bacon (or regular bacon if cheaper)
Frozen foods: 1 bag frozen fruit (oatmeal x 5)
Produce: hummus, celery (moussaka), carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, kale, onions (chili, spaghetti, moussaka), lettuce (salads), eggplant (moussaka)
Canned goods: tomato paste/tomato sauce/diced tomatoes (chili, spaghetti, moussaka)
Dry Goods: 1 lb. kidney beans, thin spaghetti, bread crumbs, chili seasoning, pancake mix (waffles), syrup, rice (bulk is way cheap if you have somewhere to store it), oatmeal, whole almonds, bread
Misc: any additional spices/seasonings/dressings, snacks like popcorn or peanut butter or crackers, coffee, and coffee accessories

Week 2
Breakfasts: refrigerator oatmeals (Monday-Friday), eggs and turkey bacon (Saturday), cereal
Lunches: chili (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday), broiled tilapia and broccoli (Wednesday, Friday), grilled cheese and veggies w/hummus (Saturday), leftover pizza (Sunday)
Dinners: chicken leg quarters with potatoes au gratin and carrots (Monday/Wednesday), hamburgers and salad (Tuesday), meatballs w/tomato sauce and broccoli (Thursday/Friday), homemade pizza (Saturday), any remaining leftovers and salad (Sunday)

What I Bought
Dairy: eggs, milk, 1 qt. plain yogurt (oatmeal x 5), cheddar cheese (and/or whatever other kinds you like for potatoes au gratin), mozzarella cheese (pizza)
Meat: bulk package chicken leg quarters, ground beef (hamburgers, pizza)
Frozen foods: carrots, broccoli x 2, bulk bag frozen tilapia
Produce:green onions (potatoes au gratin), lettuce, potatoes
Canned goods: tomato sauce (pizza), black olives, mushrooms
Dry Goods: pizza dough yeast, flour, oil
Misc: any spices/seasonings

Simple enough, right? You have only what you need for your meals, plus when you get things like flour, eggs, oil, butter, cheese, and rice that are part of your meals, you're likely to have leftovers that become staples in your food supply. A lot of times things like that will last for several rounds of meal planning. This helps you save money in the long-run.

So, some tips and tricks:

• Do yourself a favor and purchase a big package of food storage containers. Throw away all the crappy ones you've accumulated and use your brand-new matching set. You'll thank yourself a million times!
• Plan to buy and use frozen veggies for the last part of your meal-planning cycle. They're less likely to go bad, and you're more likely to get use out of them and not throw away good money.
• Soups, sauces, and beans go further if you're trying to stretch your money. A pot of chili or hearty soup will last forever (which is why I freeze half as soon as I cook it)!
• Always have ready-made food items in your freezer like muffins, waffles, casseroles, meatballs/loaf, pasta dishes, and whatever else floats your boat. These are nice bonus items when you're waiting for the next payday to roll around...or when you have no food for the next day's dinner, but don't have time to go shopping. Just thaw and warm!
• Buy meat in bulk and repackage into meal-sized portions of your own to freeze. If ground beef/turkey is one of your meats, you can go ahead and shape your burgers and form your meatballs before freezing.
• Label everything you freeze and look through your freezer stash every time you plan your next set of meals to see what needs to be eaten soon.
• If you work (or have kids who throw off your stay-at-home-parent schedule), spend a few hours on Saturday or Sunday prepping all your breakfasts and lunches and morning/afternoon snacks. You'll remove almost all of the temptation to go out for lunch, waste money, and consume way too many calories. My fave work lunches are salads, a big casserole split into 5 portions, or a cooked meat + frozen veggie. You can actually put the veggies in your containers still frozen to save time, since you'll be heating your meal in the microwave before eating anyway.
• Always check your menu for the next day after dinner to see what's coming up. If it's something that's in your freezer, move it to the fridge. It'll be nice and thawed by the time it's time to cook din-din!
• Know your top 5 fastest dinners and be able to roll them off your tongue in 30 seconds or less! This comes in clutch when menu planning if there's a particular day you're going to be super strapped for time. Our busy days are Wednesdays because of church, so I usually plan leftovers that day or something I can cook in 20 minutes or less like broiled fish and a frozen veggie, tacos, veggie omelets, hamburgers, spaghetti, or fried salmon patties.
• Toddler mommies: save those old bananas that get wasted more often than not! They make the most delicious muffins that will have your kiddos begging for their breakfast fruit/fiber!
• Use coupons and buy generics whenever possible. Kroger has some amazing store-brand foods. Just sayin'. I used to be a name-brand snob, but I'm loving the savings and still-intact flavor/texture integrity I've found in Kroger generics.
• If you see something at the store that's an unbeatable deal like several pounds of steak or salmon that's been mega marked down, grab it!!! Adjust your menu accordingly. Flexibility is key if you're serious about saving money!

Ready for some recipes?! None of these are extravagant, and all are super easy and delicious! Have you seen a recent food pic on Facebook or Instagram that you'd like a recipe for? Comment and let me know. What's mine is yours, friends!

Moussaka
Ingredients
1 lb. ground beef
2 potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
1 eggplant, peeled and thickly sliced
1 large onion, sliced
5 ribs celery, sliced
1 green pepper, sliced (optional...I hate bell peppers!)
1 large can diced tomatoes
salt and pepper

Directions
Layer everything in a casserole dish with raw beef on the bottom to tomatoes on top. Cover and bake for about an hour at 350º. Traditionally, this Greek dish is topped with a béchamel sauce, but I'm rarely feeling that fancy. Plus, this is a really filling dish, and I fear a creamy sauce would make it too rich for my blood. One other note: this dish is really versatile! You can really add whatever veggies or seasonings you like. I've done it with zucchini, spinach, kale, and mushrooms. All delicious additions!

Meatballs
Ingredients
1 lb. ground beef
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 c. fresh grated parmesan (like DIY grated parm...so much filler and processed junk in pre-grated cheese!)
1 tbsp. dried basil (or fresh minced if you have it!)
2 tbsp. dried parsley (again, fresh if you prefer. Fresh herbs are cheap and delicious, and leftover fresh basil and parsley make a bangin' pesto sauce!)
1/2 c. bread crumbs
salt and pepper
2 cloves minced garlic

Directions
Mix it all up, form into 1-2" balls, and either freeze raw or bake at 350º for about 20 minutes and cool before bagging and freezing. Pop 'em in your favorite pasta sauce or bake/fry them and serve as mini meatloafs with tomato sauce, ranch, or ketchup. These are a big hit with my Kimmy--very toddler friendly!

Potatoes au Gratin
Ingredients
4-5 potatoes, thinly and evenly sliced
3-4 green onions, chopped
1 stick butter
2-3 c. shredded cheese
salt and white pepper

Directions
Line your casserole dish with butter. Layer potatoes, green onions, little pats of butter, salt and white pepper, and cheese in 2 big layers. Cover the top well with cheese. Bake at 375º for 40 minutes (covered) and 10-15 minutes (uncovered).

Refrigerator Oatmeals
Ingredients (each)
1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. plain yogurt (not flavored and not low-fat)
1 tbsp. whole almonds (the baking kind, not the salted/snack kind)
1/2-3/4 c. fresh or frozen fruit of your choice
2 oz. milk

Directions
Measure all your ingredients and put them in a container. Pop on a lid and toss it in the fridge for at least 8 hours and up to 5 days before eating (the texture is not ideal outside of this timeframe). No stirring, no nothing. You can sweeten with whatever floats your boat (honey, Splenda, etc.) and stir it all up before eating. Seriously measure your ingredients, though: this is unbelievably filling. Overdo it, and you will not finish this breakfast in one sitting. Just sayin'.

Waffles
Ingredients
Buy a box of Kroger brand buttermilk pancake and waffle mix. It's the best. Hands down. I do not buy any other brands. It's either this or homemade from a Googled waffle recipe. You'll also need vegetable oil and water.

Directions
Follow the waffle directions on the box. Put however much batter your waffle iron holds in your waffle iron. Cook. Cool completely. Freeze. #boom

Muffins
This recipe or this recipe. 

Add in or substitute whatever fruits float your boat (especially those old bananas we all love/hate!). Cook. Cool. Freeze.

I hope this helps all you other busy bees find a little balance in your cooking/food schedules! I'm always open to blog suggestions, recipe suggestions, and whatever else you want to know about how I do things if it can help you organize your life.

Enjoy!
-Kels

Standards

Hmmm, where to start on this topic? Let's go here first:

I'm a feminist. I will advocate for women's equality until the day I die. Equal pay. Equal rights. Removal of sexism from all aspects of life. There is no wrath like the wrath of a woman scorned, and media and society do a lot--both intentionally and unintentionally--to "put women in their places."

One thing that absolutely boils my blood is the societal idea that women are too high-maintenance and have standards that are both too high and unrealistic.

Society could not be more wrong.

Women have high standards because they know what they want, and they know what they deserve. We are clear thinkers. We may change our minds a lot, but we have coherent goals, dreams, and plans. I'd even venture to say that we're even better off for being mind-changers because that implies malleability and resilience and flexibility and adeptness and pure, effervescent wit.

Beyond that, we are absolutely entitled to have the standards we have--for people, for relationships, for jobs, for parenting, for gender equality, for healthcare, for women's rights, for life--and we should be lauded for having such a firm grip on our wants and needs.

A lot of times, "standards" and "goals" are interchangeable words. Why should one gender be allowed to set clear goals and the other held in constant contempt for it?

Sorry, men, but women keep the world running. We bring a hell of a lot to the table. I dare you to try to do it without us!

Anyway, off my soapbox. Kind of.

--

I'd like to advocate for women never to be afraid of having high standards and never to settle on something below those standards if it is within your power. It could lead to getting lost in a total mess, whether that's a bad relationship, a job that's a waste of your time, doing things for people who don't appreciate you, a whopping pile of debt, etc.

Set your standards high and hold your ground. Your life will be so much more amazing because you'll be living it on your terms. Circumstance and person will not affect your outlook and ambitions.

I've got a lot of standards for my future, and I refuse to find myself in a situation within my choosing that's too far away from those ideals. I'm specifically talking about future relationship, financial, and professional/educational goals for myself.

If I enter into another relationship in the future, it must be with an honest man. Honesty makes everything else tolerable, or at least overcome-able. He must be honest and worthy of my trust, time, and attention. Beyond that, he must be worthy of the time he will take away from Kimmy and Mommy 1:1. He must love my child as much as me and/or as much as his own if a blended family is in my future. He must be someone I can be comfortable praying with/around.

My financial standards include being debt-free with the exceptions of car and home loans in my future. I will save for emergencies, for Kimmy's college education, for retirement, and to help others. On these standards, I will not bend, unless forced circumstance would make it so.

I will receive a graduate degree, come hail or high water. [I think the generally accepted phraseology is "come hell or high water," but "hail" makes so much more sense to me. Natural disaster + natural disaster versus death + natural disaster. I've changed it to "hail" for myself. Why? Because I can.] I'm willing it to happen. I will not break this goal. I will work during my working years and my retirement years. I will help others all I can. Lord willing, I will spend my retirement providing free childcare for a future single momma around my age now, so she can work and save and not have to worry about the most worrisome time of life. But I can figure all that out when the time arrives. It's my plan, at least!

Why should I be made to feel "less than" for having such high standards for myself, my daughter, and my/our future?

Sorry, boyz. I'm standing strong. Row your boat to my island, or row right on by and leave me be.

Cheers,
-Kelsey