Although I love my job, I think most people know that I'm actively seeking a full-time position. I'd love to stay at IU and particularly the office of admissions, but no matter where I end up, I really just NEED health insurance. I've grown tired of the uncertainty of Medicaid, and I'm definitely at my wit's end with the amount of debt I've accrued. My credit is wrecked--I don't even want to know how bad it is now.
Anyway, my suspicions were correct that lots of IU positions are opening up for January start dates. I've applied to 12 full-time jobs over the course of the last two weeks. TWELVE! Those odds have got to work in my favor, right? I'm feeling optimistic, and I sincerely hope that this round of applications contains my answered prayer. Tis the season; I hope Jesus agrees and will work favorably on my behalf. (I could also use your continued prayers!)
I have finally come to the conclusion that this period of unemployment and financial hardship has been a blessing in disguise. I've realized just how supportive my parents are and that they always have my back. I've been forced to spend lots of time evaluating myself and my spending habits. I've had sufficient time away from my lines of credit and have gotten into the habit of being scrupulous with my money. I'm ready to budget and make smart choices once I get a higher stream of income and can start the journey into the black. And, most importantly, I've had hours and hours, weeks, months, nights, and days of uninterrupted time with my Kimmy-girl. I've gotten to watch her learn and grow, conquer milestones, see the world through her own creative perspective, and enjoy each moment of her every day. She is the biggest blessing, and throughout any storm, I am always thankful for her light in my life.
I'm here. I'm ready! Hit me, life (in a good way)!
-Kels
Friday, December 13, 2013
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
A favorite poem
I regret to admit that I am terribly behind in my readings of classic, romantic, and contemporary poetry--an activity that I could probably spend entire days doing, if only I had the time.
Thanks to my background in music, my studies in song have been directly linked with poetry for years. I have walked parallel to beautiful poems and become entwined with their meaning for years. It is not always the music in a song that tugs at my heart, but the words. Not always just the words, though, but the way the words are linked with the notes and the harmony. This symbiotic phenomenon is what gives song, and poetry, meaning to me.
One of my favorite choral pieces is Randall Thompson's "Choose Something Like a Star," titled after Robert Frost's poem of the same name. I think this poem is actually one of my favorite ever. In fact, when prompted to create a screen name for anything web-based, I frequently go with "talkfahrenheit." This song was one of the first things I ever sang that moved me so deeply I got chills and felt my eyes filling up with tears. I think the words are profound, and they inspire me to think about life beyond the routinized daily bubble.
O Star (the fairest one in sight),
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud –
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.
Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.
It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.
Enjoy!
-Kels
Thanks to my background in music, my studies in song have been directly linked with poetry for years. I have walked parallel to beautiful poems and become entwined with their meaning for years. It is not always the music in a song that tugs at my heart, but the words. Not always just the words, though, but the way the words are linked with the notes and the harmony. This symbiotic phenomenon is what gives song, and poetry, meaning to me.
One of my favorite choral pieces is Randall Thompson's "Choose Something Like a Star," titled after Robert Frost's poem of the same name. I think this poem is actually one of my favorite ever. In fact, when prompted to create a screen name for anything web-based, I frequently go with "talkfahrenheit." This song was one of the first things I ever sang that moved me so deeply I got chills and felt my eyes filling up with tears. I think the words are profound, and they inspire me to think about life beyond the routinized daily bubble.
"Choose Something Like a Star" - 1916
Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
We grant your loftiness the right
To some obscurity of cloud –
It will not do to say of night,
Since dark is what brings out your light.
Some mystery becomes the proud.
But to be wholly taciturn
In your reserve is not allowed.
Say something to us we can learn
By heart and when alone repeat.
Say something! And it says "I burn."
But say with what degree of heat.
Talk Fahrenheit, talk Centigrade.
Use language we can comprehend.
Tell us what elements you blend.
It gives us strangely little aid,
But does tell something in the end.
And steadfast as Keats' Eremite,
Not even stooping from its sphere,
It asks a little of us here.
It asks of us a certain height,
So when at times the mob is swayed
To carry praise or blame too far,
We may choose something like a star
To stay our minds on and be staid.
Enjoy!
-Kels
An unwelcome guest
Hey, today's Jarrell's 25th birthday! But that's not the point of this post.
So, last night I was taking a shower. It was just before midnight, so I was really enjoying getting to unwind under the super-hot water before bedtime. I was washing my face early on in the shower, and when I turned around to shampoo my hair, there was a giant spider hanging about an inch from my face!
I'm actually not afraid of spiders, bugs, or snakes. Give me ample time to observe a critter, and I'll take it down with stealth and not a twinge of fear. I just don't like being taken by surprise. It makes me panic, and I'm not always quick to adapt in such situations. Last night, though, I was lightning quick! I swatted that sucker down into the soapy water and let it drown.
I think it was some variety of daddy long-legs; although, it didn't have the super-long spindly legs and signature round, reddish-brown thorax. May have just been a Midwestern variety--I haven't done much Girl-Scouting-type nature exploration in this area, so I'm not sure what's indigenous and what isn't.
Anywho, I'm glad I didn't encounter the spider with my fingers while I was shampooing my hair. I probably would have fallen down and taken the shower curtain with me on the way.
Oh, the adventures of my life.
--
Today's agenda = finishing out my shift at work, running a few errands with the Kimmy, baking Jarrell some birthday cupcakes, and taking them to work for everyone to enjoy. Then tonight, I'll be making baked BBQ chicken leg quarters, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, and probably some steamed spinach, too, just to get it out of my fridge.
I'm sure it'll be a great birthday for Jarrell--heck, any birthday would be nice and relaxing after the huge surprise I gave him on his birthday 2 years ago (a positive pregnancy test)!
More later.
-Kels
So, last night I was taking a shower. It was just before midnight, so I was really enjoying getting to unwind under the super-hot water before bedtime. I was washing my face early on in the shower, and when I turned around to shampoo my hair, there was a giant spider hanging about an inch from my face!
I'm actually not afraid of spiders, bugs, or snakes. Give me ample time to observe a critter, and I'll take it down with stealth and not a twinge of fear. I just don't like being taken by surprise. It makes me panic, and I'm not always quick to adapt in such situations. Last night, though, I was lightning quick! I swatted that sucker down into the soapy water and let it drown.
I think it was some variety of daddy long-legs; although, it didn't have the super-long spindly legs and signature round, reddish-brown thorax. May have just been a Midwestern variety--I haven't done much Girl-Scouting-type nature exploration in this area, so I'm not sure what's indigenous and what isn't.
Anywho, I'm glad I didn't encounter the spider with my fingers while I was shampooing my hair. I probably would have fallen down and taken the shower curtain with me on the way.
Oh, the adventures of my life.
--
Today's agenda = finishing out my shift at work, running a few errands with the Kimmy, baking Jarrell some birthday cupcakes, and taking them to work for everyone to enjoy. Then tonight, I'll be making baked BBQ chicken leg quarters, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, and probably some steamed spinach, too, just to get it out of my fridge.
I'm sure it'll be a great birthday for Jarrell--heck, any birthday would be nice and relaxing after the huge surprise I gave him on his birthday 2 years ago (a positive pregnancy test)!
More later.
-Kels
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Cocoa brownies: v.4738192847651
I'm always on the hunt for a brownie recipe I actually like. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, so I've really struggled to find a recipe that strikes a nice balance for my taste. I've tried about half a million recipes, and none of them seem to do anything for me.
Here is a summary of my preferences in the brownie-making journey so far:
• oil > butter
• cake texture > fudge texture
• cocoa powder > melted bittersweet chocolate
• 1 c. sugar is plenty
• 1/2 c. cocoa powder is plenty
• walnuts + cake texture = very unappealing
Like I said, I've done my fair share of experimentation, so imagine my surprise when I came across the most delicious recipe yesterday!
Let's have a look:
Ingredients
1/2 c. vegetable oil
1 c. sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 eggs
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
1/3 c. cocoa powder
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
*secret ingredient TBA in a bit*
Directions
Preheat oven to 350. Combine oil, sugar, and vanilla. Mix in beaten eggs. In a separate bowl, whisk together dry ingredients. Fold in gradually. Pour into a greased 8x8 pan and bake about 20-25 minutes.
Okay, I know what you're thinking: "Yeah, yeah...brownies, schmownies. What's so special about this recipe?" Well, for one, these brownies have a great texture with just a little crunch on the edges and a cakey, but moist texture inside.
Here's the kicker, though. You ready? Top these babies with 1/2 a can of sweetened condensed milk as they're cooling! Talk about YUM.
If you didn't know, sweetened condensed milk is like a raw version of caramel. You've got dairy; you've got sugar. There's actually a crock pot recipe for overnight caramel sauce that basically just tells you to cook an unopened can of the stuff completely submerged in water, then open up a surprisingly gooey can of perfectly golden caramel. Neat, right?
Well, sweetened condensed milk on a pan of warm brownies sets up like an icing-caramel-glaze hybrid. It's absolutely delicious!
My only complaint with this recipe is that it makes a rather small pan of brownies. I don't mind because brownies aren't something I can eat a lot of at one time. However, my next project is to figure out how to double this recipe without making anything disproportionate, flavor-wise. I guess that's a story for another day.
G'nite!
-Kels
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Friday's snow adventure
Friday was quite an extraordinary day. We had heard the weather forecast of Winter Storms Cleon and Dion all week, and, sure enough, we woke up to several inches of snow on Friday morning. IU hadn't cancelled classes, so I went about my business as usual and got ready for work.
7:00am rolls around, and Brooke (Kimmy's sitter, cutie Korbyn's mom) was running late. Understandably so, since the roads were AWFUL, and the snow was steadily coming down. We told her to take her time and not even worry about being late. (She made it here safely, thank god.) Meanwhile, Jarrell and I decided it would be foolish for me to drop him off at work and drive back across town to work, then come back out with Kimmy in the evening to pick him up. So, I rode the bus to work.
Now, the bus doesn't stop right at the Office of Admissions. It's about a 5-minute walk from the bus stop to work. Not a bad or strenuous walk in normal weather. Not such an easy walk in 4-and-counting inches of snow. Not only had I already made the 7-minute walk to the bus stop from our apartment, but now I had to walk in the snow some more to get to work.
I ended up being 10 minutes late, but here's the best part: I didn't have snow boots! I chose the pair of shoes with the best traction, given my track record of epic wipeouts in the snow. By the time I got to work, both shoes and socks were absolutely soaked. I had to take them off to let them dry. I even had to wring water from my socks. I was frozen all morning at work.
5 out of 11 of us showed up. It was an especially slow day, so it was easy to be there. All in all, an enjoyable Friday shift.
By the time I left, my socks and shoes were mostly dry. But guess what I did less than 2 minutes after leaving? Yep, stepped right in a puddle of slush. This time the snow was 7 inches and counting. I made it to the bus stop, caught the (heated--woo-hoo!) bus, and made the trek back up the hill to my apartment.
Whew! What an adventure. The babies, Brooke, and I bundled up, and we all drove to the leasing office so that I could drop off my rent check. (Thanks, Brooke!)
Once we got back home, I was feeling pretty over the snow, to be quite honest. But, this was my Kimmy's first big snow! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to bundle her up and go play in it! We ate lunch and did just that.
I took the obligatory indoor pictures of her all bundled up and layered in, stuffed like a sausage in her snow suit, face covered in Vaseline to prevent windburn. Then, out we went!
Once we were inside, wet layers stripped and left in the bathroom to dry, we had a yummy treat. I had to carry on Gugs's tradition with my little miss. She used to always make us soup and hot chocolate after playing in the snow, so I did a toddler-friendly play on that for the Kim-bird: chocolate milk with a little egg nog! She loved it! We both took a long afternoon nap after our outdoor adventure--very enjoyable.
Total snowfall: about 10 inches...maybe more, since I haven't been back outside to find out. It was definitely an unforgettable day, but I think I will just call off work next time!
More tales later.
-Kels
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Mortality and going with the flow
Ever since I had Kimmy, I've become equipped with an ever-growing sense of mortality (and a steadily-increasing anxiety level). Granted, I've always been somewhat of a worrywort, with my Type-A personality and all. but it's tangibly worse now that I'm a parent.
It's amazing how many mundane, harmless things become dangerous once you have a little one walking (more like running...constantly) around. Outlets, toilets, corners, walls, cords, anything smaller than a ping pong ball, cold weather, viruses, and on and on and on. I'm constantly having mini-freakouts about my daughter's safety. I still even catch myself rushing in her room at night if I wake up to pee, just because I want to make sure she's still breathing and that a kidnapper hasn't broken through her window and snatched her from her bed. Crazy, right?
(Believe me, I'm getting to a point, eventually.)
I think I also have a heightened sense of mortality, due to losing my sister so suddenly, so young. Add to the list of deceased loved ones and friends: my Nunu ("nuh-nuh"--great-grandmother), Grandaddy, aunt and grandmother who I never met, a 4th grade classmate, several fellow high-schoolers when I was in high school, a friend's husband of less than a month (whose wedding I was supposed to sing in, except we had to move apartments that weekend, instead), and a classmate from college (who knitted Kimmy a beautiful baby blanket and pair of booties just one year before she passed from cancer)...
...finally, my former Girl Scout leader, who just so happened to be one of my very favorite people on this earth, Deana Morgan. Her sense of humor, intelligence, wit, resourcefulness, demeanor, faith, and love were (and still are, and probably always will be, at least in my mind) unmatched. I found out about her death right as I was wrapping up my bedtime routine the night of Kimmy's birthday party. She was such a good friend and person. Thanks to her genorosity, we were able to purchase the car seat we wanted for Kimmy. We didn't have to buy diapers from the time she was born, basically, until she was a year old. She helped us so much, even if it didn't seem like much at all to her. She made such a strong and lasting impact on my life.
(Getting there...)
Death affects me very deeply. It drills down into my being and tries to uproot the soil in which I am rooted. I don't have to be close with someone to be very strongly affected by his/her death. That's the empathy in me, I guess.
What I'm getting at is this: life goes on. People move on and forget, and life's tide brings them nearer and drifts them further away in different seasons. Kids grow; new things happen. The only way to move forward is to LIVE. I'm talking with no regrets, right now, in the present, good and bad. Take it all in stride and keep moving forward. That doesn't mean you can't be sad or worried or cry your eyes out some days. It just means that you have to be resilient and push through it!
That's what I'm trying to do. Some days, I'll admit, it's a terrible struggle. Some days, I have no faith in humanity and want nothing to do with anyone, other than my child. In reality, though, I've got my God, my family, my friends, and my faith, and that's really all I need to be happy.
I'm alive; you are, too! Live it up and enjoy each moment!
-Kels
It's amazing how many mundane, harmless things become dangerous once you have a little one walking (more like running...constantly) around. Outlets, toilets, corners, walls, cords, anything smaller than a ping pong ball, cold weather, viruses, and on and on and on. I'm constantly having mini-freakouts about my daughter's safety. I still even catch myself rushing in her room at night if I wake up to pee, just because I want to make sure she's still breathing and that a kidnapper hasn't broken through her window and snatched her from her bed. Crazy, right?
(Believe me, I'm getting to a point, eventually.)
I think I also have a heightened sense of mortality, due to losing my sister so suddenly, so young. Add to the list of deceased loved ones and friends: my Nunu ("nuh-nuh"--great-grandmother), Grandaddy, aunt and grandmother who I never met, a 4th grade classmate, several fellow high-schoolers when I was in high school, a friend's husband of less than a month (whose wedding I was supposed to sing in, except we had to move apartments that weekend, instead), and a classmate from college (who knitted Kimmy a beautiful baby blanket and pair of booties just one year before she passed from cancer)...
...finally, my former Girl Scout leader, who just so happened to be one of my very favorite people on this earth, Deana Morgan. Her sense of humor, intelligence, wit, resourcefulness, demeanor, faith, and love were (and still are, and probably always will be, at least in my mind) unmatched. I found out about her death right as I was wrapping up my bedtime routine the night of Kimmy's birthday party. She was such a good friend and person. Thanks to her genorosity, we were able to purchase the car seat we wanted for Kimmy. We didn't have to buy diapers from the time she was born, basically, until she was a year old. She helped us so much, even if it didn't seem like much at all to her. She made such a strong and lasting impact on my life.
(Getting there...)
Death affects me very deeply. It drills down into my being and tries to uproot the soil in which I am rooted. I don't have to be close with someone to be very strongly affected by his/her death. That's the empathy in me, I guess.
What I'm getting at is this: life goes on. People move on and forget, and life's tide brings them nearer and drifts them further away in different seasons. Kids grow; new things happen. The only way to move forward is to LIVE. I'm talking with no regrets, right now, in the present, good and bad. Take it all in stride and keep moving forward. That doesn't mean you can't be sad or worried or cry your eyes out some days. It just means that you have to be resilient and push through it!
That's what I'm trying to do. Some days, I'll admit, it's a terrible struggle. Some days, I have no faith in humanity and want nothing to do with anyone, other than my child. In reality, though, I've got my God, my family, my friends, and my faith, and that's really all I need to be happy.
I'm alive; you are, too! Live it up and enjoy each moment!
-Kels
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Follow through
My friends love me. My family loves me. God loves me. But all of these people know that I have trouble following through with things. One of my biggest weaknesses!
I absolutely love writing. After my sister died in high school, writing became a release for me. It helps me clear my head, and I love the imegery and stress-relieving feeling I get from my thoughts escaping my head out of my fingertips. It doesn't get much more cathartic for me, especially now that I'm taking a hiatus from music for an undetermined length of time.
Lots of new things have happened since I last posted. My baby is 1--well, 16 months this Saturday. She has learned SO MUCH. I can't even list all the things she has learned in the last 3 months. People say babies are little sponges, and it's the absolute truth. I also have a part-time job now at IU undergraduate admissions. Love it, but I wish it was full time. I really crave that stability, especially for health benefits. I'm still looking for a full-time position, and I trust that God will point me in the right direction soon. (Maybe I can make it a point to start blogging again, since I usually have some downtime between phone calls!)
Jarrell and I are good--we will have been together for 6 whole years in March. 6 years?! Can you believe it? I can't. Well, I can, but I can't. I love him. I have never found a closer match. I strongly believe he is my true intellectual counterpart and the person God picked out just to be my companion. He has taught me so much about people. We may look completely different on the inside, but it doesn't even matter. One of the best life lessons I've ever learned!
I'm thankful for the moments in the present right now. I've been able to get a decent amount of presents under our Christmas tree. Rent is up to date. Power is on. Insurance is paid. Things could definitely be better, financially speaking, but we are okay right now. It's been about a year since things took a downward turn for me with school/unemployment/moving to Indiana, etc. I'm trying to keep my head on straight and nip that depression/regret/anxiety in the bud and continue moving forward.
That being said, I have some big plans for 2014! I'm going to try my hand at direct sales. I know one product line I want to sell, and I am debating among several others for a 2nd product line to sell. I think I can do really well with this. I have the motivation to make more money, and I have learned a lot about product promotion from hosting a few parties under my friend-consultant's names. I'm also pretty persuasive, I've discovered. I'm excited! Now I just have to wait until I have the money for start-up costs.
Oh, I should also mention that we have found the best babysitter for Kimmy!!!! I come home to a smiling baby every day, and my miss loves her little almost-2-year-old playmate, too. We are blessed with a trustworthy sitter, but we are also blessed with our growing friendship with her! I just wish we could afford to pay her more. She definitely deserves it; that's for sure.
Anyway, I'll wrap this up now. Happy reading, anyone who may be reading this.
-Kels
I absolutely love writing. After my sister died in high school, writing became a release for me. It helps me clear my head, and I love the imegery and stress-relieving feeling I get from my thoughts escaping my head out of my fingertips. It doesn't get much more cathartic for me, especially now that I'm taking a hiatus from music for an undetermined length of time.
Lots of new things have happened since I last posted. My baby is 1--well, 16 months this Saturday. She has learned SO MUCH. I can't even list all the things she has learned in the last 3 months. People say babies are little sponges, and it's the absolute truth. I also have a part-time job now at IU undergraduate admissions. Love it, but I wish it was full time. I really crave that stability, especially for health benefits. I'm still looking for a full-time position, and I trust that God will point me in the right direction soon. (Maybe I can make it a point to start blogging again, since I usually have some downtime between phone calls!)
Jarrell and I are good--we will have been together for 6 whole years in March. 6 years?! Can you believe it? I can't. Well, I can, but I can't. I love him. I have never found a closer match. I strongly believe he is my true intellectual counterpart and the person God picked out just to be my companion. He has taught me so much about people. We may look completely different on the inside, but it doesn't even matter. One of the best life lessons I've ever learned!
I'm thankful for the moments in the present right now. I've been able to get a decent amount of presents under our Christmas tree. Rent is up to date. Power is on. Insurance is paid. Things could definitely be better, financially speaking, but we are okay right now. It's been about a year since things took a downward turn for me with school/unemployment/moving to Indiana, etc. I'm trying to keep my head on straight and nip that depression/regret/anxiety in the bud and continue moving forward.
That being said, I have some big plans for 2014! I'm going to try my hand at direct sales. I know one product line I want to sell, and I am debating among several others for a 2nd product line to sell. I think I can do really well with this. I have the motivation to make more money, and I have learned a lot about product promotion from hosting a few parties under my friend-consultant's names. I'm also pretty persuasive, I've discovered. I'm excited! Now I just have to wait until I have the money for start-up costs.
Oh, I should also mention that we have found the best babysitter for Kimmy!!!! I come home to a smiling baby every day, and my miss loves her little almost-2-year-old playmate, too. We are blessed with a trustworthy sitter, but we are also blessed with our growing friendship with her! I just wish we could afford to pay her more. She definitely deserves it; that's for sure.
Anyway, I'll wrap this up now. Happy reading, anyone who may be reading this.
-Kels
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