I'm not afraid of your life

This is sappy, but whatever. Move your little eyes someplace else if you don't wanna read it. Brice and I are in love, and I don't care who knows it.

I knew he was perfect for me almost instantly. We were just magnetized. People tell you you'll just know, and I guess they're right. I never believed in soulmates, true love, my knight in shining armor, any of it. But then there he was, and he was all of it in one very real, very amazing person. Finally, someone who can keep up with me and can handle my zest for life!

He continues to do and say wonderful things that both reaffirm my initial impression of him and deepen my admiration, just totally without even trying. He is 100% himself, and I appreciate 100% of who that is. I told him he makes me want to write, and here I am writing.

And so you know, I have his permission; I'm not goin' rogue here. Brice is a super private and modest person, and he would never brag about himself. I want all my friends and family to see just how great he is, though, especially since he hasn't gotten to meet any of y'all yet, so I'm gonna give you a little feel for how he treats me.

I can talk to him about anything, and he doesn't shy away from the tough stuff. Instead, he says things like this:

"I'm not afraid of your life, Kelsey. I will be there through every stressful thing, and we'll go through all of it together."

Those are swooning words. That hit me right in the feels. This is by far the most meaningful, powerful thing any person on this earth has ever said to me. "I accept all your baggage and chaos and your insane amount of stress," basically. I have a pretty strong fear of abandonment when the going gets rough,  I guess, because my life is full of little fires that I'm constantly putting out, and I'm often completely frazzled and overwhelmed.

But even more powerful than hearing those words is experiencing how it feels when Brice stands behind them and proves that he's there, steady and strong, willing to listen, willing to help me through it (even when I don't even know how to ask for or accept help). I don't know how he does it, but he doesn't even falter. I mean, have y'all met me? I talk a lot. But there he is...even through all the screenshots I send him of annoying conversations with toxic people and huge essay-length texts venting about everything on my mind. I send a lot of texts (our count is 1,615 of them since August 4th when this month's phone bill started over). Nope, doesn't even phase him.

He just accepts me and all that I come with.

I've been missing him big time since Colorado last month, and he and Kimmy both talk to me about how they're itching to meet each other. So I decided Kimmy and I needed a little weekend getaway to San Antonio to make this happen!

"Kimmy and I are coming to visit you in Texas later this month, Brice!"
"I'm so excited! Does she need a car seat while she's here?"

Yep, his first thought once we locked down plans was my daughter's safety...whether Kimmy would be safe in the car while we're there and what he could do to make sure she was.

He also bought her a birthday present. He also talks to her on video chat and texts emojis with her and sends her silly snaps and includes her in all our conversations about what the future looks like. He also makes me laugh and calms me down and calls me beautiful and talks nerdy to me (hah!). He is a good, good man. He makes my heart happy. I am so thankful I found him.

To be continued.

#briceandkelsey
<3

Follow through

My friends love me. My family loves me. God loves me. But all of these people know that I have trouble following through with things. One of my biggest weaknesses!

I absolutely love writing. After my sister died in high school, writing became a release for me. It helps me clear my head, and I love the imegery and stress-relieving feeling I get from my thoughts escaping my head out of my fingertips. It doesn't get much more cathartic for me, especially now that I'm taking a hiatus from music for an undetermined length of time.

Lots of new things have happened since I last posted. My baby is 1--well, 16 months this Saturday. She has learned SO MUCH. I can't even list all the things she has learned in the last 3 months. People say babies are little sponges, and it's the absolute truth. I also have a part-time job now at IU undergraduate admissions. Love it, but I wish it was full time. I really crave that stability, especially for health benefits. I'm still looking for a full-time position, and I trust that God will point me in the right direction soon. (Maybe I can make it a point to start blogging again, since I usually have some downtime between phone calls!)

Jarrell and I are good--we will have been together for 6 whole years in March. 6 years?! Can you believe it? I can't. Well, I can, but I can't. I love him. I have never found a closer match. I strongly believe he is my true intellectual counterpart and the person God picked out just to be my companion. He has taught me so much about people. We may look completely different on the inside, but it doesn't even matter. One of the best life lessons I've ever learned!

I'm thankful for the moments in the present right now. I've been able to get a decent amount of presents under our Christmas tree. Rent is up to date. Power is on. Insurance is paid. Things could definitely be better, financially speaking, but we are okay right now. It's been about a year since things took a downward turn for me with school/unemployment/moving to Indiana, etc. I'm trying to keep my head on straight and nip that depression/regret/anxiety in the bud and continue moving forward.

That being said, I have some big plans for 2014! I'm going to try my hand at direct sales. I know one product line I want to sell, and I am debating among several others for a 2nd product line to sell. I think I can do really well with this. I have the motivation to make more money, and I have learned a lot about product promotion from hosting a few parties under my friend-consultant's names. I'm also pretty persuasive, I've discovered. I'm excited! Now I just have to wait until I have the money for start-up costs.

Oh, I should also mention that we have found the best babysitter for Kimmy!!!! I come home to a smiling baby every day, and my miss loves her little almost-2-year-old playmate, too. We are blessed with a trustworthy sitter, but we are also blessed with our growing friendship with her! I just wish we could afford to pay her more. She definitely deserves it; that's for sure.

Anyway, I'll wrap this up now. Happy reading, anyone who may be reading this.

-Kels