Thursday, April 25, 2013

A word on reassurance

I feel very under-appreciated lately. Each day for me is full of the same routine: taking care of Kimmy, taking care of myself, cooking, doing laundry, looking for/applying for jobs, etc. It gets old. It feels old. I have not been away from Kimmy for more than about 6 hours at a time since the time she was born, and I have never had an evening off. I'm not saying that I'm tired of being around her or that I wish I had more time away from her--that's not what I'm getting at. But it would be nice to hear some reassurance more than every now and then that someone appreciates how I spend each day and that I'm doing a good job. (No, this is not a plea to hear those words, even if anyone feels they are the truth.)

Tonight after going on a long walk, going to the grocery store, carrying in and putting away said groceries, cooking dinner, and doing the dishes (all while dealing with abdominal crampy-ness and a pretty bad headache), I sat down to eat my dinner and then proceeded to relax for the night. I wasn't fishing for a compliment, but after a rough evening and a long week, I definitely wasn't in the mood to be the victim of someone's mood swing, yet that is what happened. So here I sit with hurt feelings, feeling unimportant and insignificant as I so frequently do when things like this happen. Will I bounce back and be fine tomorrow? Yes, because I have Kimmy to think about. But I won't forget this feeling. It burns in me and makes me question myself, as all negative things, people, and situations do these days.

However, my point is this: If you appreciate someone, let them know as often as you feel that appreciation for them. It's much better to be overly reassured than never reassured. If you love someone, let them know. If you value someone's company or advice or influence, let them know. If you see a genuine good trait in someone, compliment them. If someone looks nice, and you can tell they really put forth a lot of effort in their appearance that day, say so. You never, ever know what deep, dark place someone may be stuck in mentally. Treat everyone with sincere thoughtfulness, as if they are in their darkest place on a daily basis.

Okay, back into my shell. I like to spend nights like this in prayer for a while before I go to sleep, so that's what I'm about to do!

Love.

-Kels